LOSIN’ IT by Susan (Vags) Murphy

At the beginning of this month I finally got my rather round behind out the door and walked it down to the nearest Weight Watcher's meeting. This is a path I took once before to some success. I lost over 60 lbs. about 20 years ago. But of course this was before I met, married and left my husband. When you go through so many residual losses in your life - your home, your security and your confidence - the only thing you seem to be able to hold onto is the ability to punish yourself. My comfort and punishment of choice is food. And it is the only thing I allow myself to spend money on when funds are tight because the family has to eat...right?

When times have been their toughest I resort to my 'mom instincts' and I try to take care of everyone but myself. I come from a long line of 'me-last' people. Then comes my epiphany. I have two sons who need me. I don't think it would be very fair to them to remain this big and be gone from their lives earlier than is necessary. So I have decided to take better care of me.

This decision does not come easily to me.

I have not even looked in a full-length mirror for about 5 years now. Still, I know I am under here somewhere so I bite the bullet and re-enlist in WW. To tell you the truth is wasn't the Points Program or even the meeting weigh-ins that held me back. It was spending the monthly fee. Spending monthly money on myself seems very extravagant.

I am sharing this with you because the say if you write things down you are more likely to achieve your goals. I may crash and burn but that's the risk you take. Doing nothing seems even riskier. In the first 3 weeks I have lost a little over 9 lbs. Spit in the ocean, but a start.

I feel as if I am among friends so I hope you will all lend me a little encouragement along the way. If you live in the Twin Cities stop by and go for a walk with me, come bowling with the boys and me, or challenge me to a mad game of badmitton.
Here's to seeing less of me in the future.